Order of Posts

Please remember that this is a blog and that, like most blogs, the post at the top of the screen is the newest. If you are reading the My Story category, then you should start with the first post (the oldest entry) and move up the screen. The entries will not make sense in any

The Police and the Letter

Part 12 On 15 June 2006, exactly four weeks after Barry died by suicide, Daniel and I were asked to attend the police station and give statements. We were also asked to bring support as the police believed that I would not be able to drive home afterwards. Why? Gary and I asked ourselves. Why

Bringing Barry Home

Part 11 – I originally wrote this post on 9 June 2006, however, I realise now that it should be part of My Story so I have reposted it and deleted the original post. On 8 June 2006, I wrote a post about preparing to collect Barry’s ashes. Today, I’ve been putting off writing my

The Funeral

Part 10 The funeral service for Barry was held at 11am on 30 May 2006 at Pine Grove. When arranging the funeral, I was asked how many “Order of Service” leaflets we would need. I said fifty would probably be too many as we are a very small family – 14 in total, on both

The Viewing

Part 9 Before this happened, I was always of the opinion that I would never attend a viewing of any deceased person – especially a loved one. I always believed that it would be better to remember the person in happy times, instead of replacing that image with that of a … dead person. However,

Making Plans and Saying Goodbye

Part 8 In hindsight, the signs were plain. We look back now and can see when and where Barry was saying goodbye. These memories break my heart because I wish I’d picked up on them then…rather than now, when it’s too late. Barry had sent Daniel a text message, “I know I don’t say this

The Consuming Fear

Part 7 The next four days are still a bit of a haze to me. People continued to come and go. The sweet aroma of flowers filled every room. Cards were placed on every available surface. My mind churned over and over. Why? What if? The events of the past weeks, the conversations I had

Those First Hours

Part 6 We arrived home at 5.30am. Even now we both find it amazing that we actually made it without being in an accident. It was raining quite hard, and it was foggy. We were tired, distraught and careless, but we did make it. We arrived home at dawn. The street was quiet. The house

The Worst Moment of My Life

Part 5 Thursday, 18th May 2006. I felt irritable all day. Gary asked me numerous times what was wrong, but I didn’t know. I can’t remember what we did, but we spent the day walking in the sunshine – I do know that. That evening, my stomach kept churning over. I felt uneasy. At 11.30pm

The Holiday and the Last Conversation

Part 4 Gary and I went on holiday. The first one is a while. We needed the break, the change of scenery and the time alone together. It was wonderful – even though I can’t remember a lot of it now. I remember being worried about our kittens – Sophie and Jasper – on that