I always intended to write about Barry’s life, but at first my body – in an effort to protect me – wouldn’t allow me to remember details. Everything was vague and distant and the more I tried to focus on anything, the further away it seemed to be. It was not only frustrating but extremely upsetting, and then when the memories came back, I found it too difficult to write about it.
A few days ago, we hit the four year mark of Barry’s death and rather than focus on the bad things, which only depresses and mortifies everyone, I wanted to share highlights of a young man’s life. I wanted to show myself, my immediate family and Barry’s friends that he did have a wonderful life. A life filled with camping, swimming, regular family gatherings, times when he goofed around, had fun, laughed. A life where there was no shortage of Christmas presents and birthday celebrations. A life surrounded by people who loved him and he loved in return.
So I set about making a video to upload to the facebook page and I chose to share that glimpse of a life with pictures. Each year of Barry’s life is represented. There were some years when photos were not taken, and that was difficult for me to deal with as there will never be another opportunity to take photos and I regret not taking them while I could. But life is like that. I didn’t know Barry wouldn’t be around. I didn’t know how important it would become, until it was too late. We think there’s always tomorrow to do something, or say something important. We never consider the possibility that there will be no tomorrow. Yet life’s issues – such as the breakdown of a marriage or the simple breakdown of a camera – sometimes feel more important and photos are at the bottom of the list, if they are thought of at all. But that is in the past and I can do nothing about it so I must force myself to let go of the feelings of regret.
The photos chosen flash quickly before the viewer – a few photos for each year of Barry’s life. While this is happening, a song pulls at the heart strings. The song is called “Who’d You be Now” by Kenny Chesney. I’ve never really liked country and western, but when I heard this song only three weeks ago, I knew it was the song I would use.
If you want to watch Barry’s life in pictures, please click on this link. (You must have a Facebook account and be logged in to view.)
I would have liked to embed the video into this post, but the website provider doesn’t allow it.