Looking Back at Christmas Day 2007

My family has experienced a second Christmas without Barry. From my point of view, and that’s all I can really comment on, we did extremely well.

I deliberately changed the ways we do things this year. I invested in a new tree and decorations. I invited the family to join us for Christmas lunch – I haven’t done that in a decade. I purposefully didn’t leave the wrapping of Christmas presents until Christmas Eve as that would have tormented me and this time of year is meant to be happy.

This year, I did things differently, but I still included Barry in my own little ways. On Christmas Eve, Gary and I visited the cemetery. We removed the flowers in the tiny vase (which we will return in the New Year) and placed a festive decoration in there instead. We spent some time walking around the cemetery and then we wished Barry a merry Christmas and left.

Christmas Eve 2007

On Christmas day I had intended to light a “flame of life” while everyone opened their presents, but in the chaos I forgot. I did feel guilty about this later, but quickly told myself that it was OK. Not lighting a candle isn’t like forgetting Barry. He was with me all day. I wore a locket with his photo inside. I looked at the photos we have on the walls and shelves numerous times. Barry’s name came up in conversation several times too. Life goes on.

Gary’s grandson (aged 3) asked his mum who the drawing was of and I heard her say, “That’s your Uncle Barry.” She didn’t know I saw or heard this, but it felt good to know that Barry has not been forgotten or overlooked.

I feel we have made progress. We are mending. We are moving on. Barry would have wanted it this way. Barry would be pleased that we managed to enjoy Christmas.


2 thoughts on “Looking Back at Christmas Day 2007

  1. Alisha

    This is not related to your posting but I have wanted to ask you this for a long time. Although I didnt really know Barry I did have the opportunity of having him at my parents place the weekend before he died. He seemed to be a fun and full of life this was very sad to hear when this all happened and I dont know what to say other than I am sorry for your loss. I took my sister to the wonderful service you had to celebrate Barrys life. When He came to my place for a Birthday party I took video footage of the evening and have given a copy to one of his friend to give to you and your family I am not sure where this has gotten to you to see. It is not much and Barry isnt in it to much but i thought you may have like a copy of the last time he was out with all his mates. If you have not received a copy of this disk please let me know and if you would like a copy I am happy to make one for you.

    Kind Regards


  2. Hello Alisha

    I didn’t receive that disc you mentioned and would love a copy of it. In fact, it would be a most welcomed gift that I would never part with.

    I have a lot of video footage of Barry as a child, but not much of him as a young man. Please do get a copy to me.

    Thank you for thinking of me like this. I do appreciate it.

    warm wishes,

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