The Eye of the Storm

After nine months of little more than three hours of sleep a night, I’m finally sleeping better. Literally overnight, my sleeping habits changed. I went from an average of three hours of sleep to at least six hours.

It took my body three nights to finally realise what was happening. On the third day, I felt “normal” for the first time in a long time. My brain functioned as best it could (my memory has not improved), my body sighed with relief and my eyes…I can’t tell you how good it felt to not feel pressure behind my eyes. It’s wonderful.

All these things combined makes for a more relaxed person. I feel good. I am able to cope much better. I am not so emotional, every second of every day.

Naturally, I still think of Barry every day. I still miss him terribly. But life doesn’t feel as if it’s over now. I have regained hope and that one thing makes a huge difference to a person’s life.

During my two weeks of deep sleep, I have not had a nightmare either. I know, and my councillor has reconfirmed this, I haven’t “recovered”. I know tonight might send me back to the old sleeping pattern. I know the future months will be turbulent. However, I also know I’m capable of dealing with that turbulence now.

May is fast approaching. I know this will be a difficult time for me and my family. However, with sleep, we might get through this time and our future looks much brighter.

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