Crumbling Walls – The Book

On a couple of occasions I’ve mentioned that I am a writer. I normally write children’s fiction. I’m unpublished, but that won’t be the case forever. I’m working on that constantly.

My councillor keeps telling me to write, write, and write some more. She tells me it’s a way of relieving anger, stress, and heartache. It will also help put things in perspective.

Gary keeps telling me to write too. He insists that my knowledge of writing and my experience with the aftermath of suicide should be combined. He keeps telling me that other people need my help. He’s not saying this to pressure me, he’s saying it to encourage me to do something I obviously want to do, but don’t know how, because I’ve never attempted non-fiction.

I’ve spent two weeks researching “how-to write non-fiction” and have already made good progress. Many of the websites I’ve visited ask the same question: “Why do you want to write this book?”

Here are my reasons for wanting to write this book, which will be called Crumbling Walls after this website.

  • Because there is a market out there, unfortunately. I say unfortunately, because the topic is suicide and, in all honesty, I wish books of this kind were not needed. I wish our children, and our elderly, didn’t feel the need to end their lives prematurely for whatever reasons they have. But, in real life, it is happening…much more than any ordinary person realises.
  • Because it’s important to raise awareness about suicide and writing a book about my own experiences will open the eyes of other people…people who had never thought about the consequences of suicide, who also think it could never happen to them. It could.
  • Because writing this book will be therapy for me. Yes, it will make me revisit places I don’t want to go, but it will also make me face issues from all angles and maybe that will help me heal in the long term.
  • Because deep in my heart I know this book needs to be written, and I’m passionate to get the message across – there are always other options. Always. This is the most important reason of all. It drives me on. If I can help another family keep their child, then all the misery and heartbreak I’ve been through will not be in vain.

By turning the emotions I feel every day into something positive and worth while, I believe I will be helping me, but eventually I will be helping other families and that is reason enough to do this project.


7 thoughts on “Crumbling Walls – The Book

  1. Rosepetal

    Karen, this makes perfect sense to me. I often think that I do not want the impact of my son’s life to be only one of sadness and pain. I would also like to help others who have been through this. I write my own blog to help myself (therapy) but also because I found reading others’ blogs so useful, I hope that someone else is finding it useful to read mine.

    I am also planning to drop to 80% working in a few months and I plan to do something useful and altruistic with the extra day. I have thought about helping to run a support group. I just need to make sure I am strong enough before making commitments.

    Know that your blog helps a lot of people too. You are getting your message across already.


  2. When people leave comments of encouragement, like you do, it helps me more than you know (well, you might actually know how I feel in this regard, having been through a tragedy yourself).

    Over here (in Australia) I’m told support group volunteers must be at least two years into their grief before they can help other people. I can understand the reasoning behind this. The people who have helped me have been wonderful, even though they all have lost someone dear to them. Although other people try to help, the best help comes from people who truly know what you’re going through, because they’ve been in the same situation.

    I hardly know you, but I feel you would be good running a support group – compassionate and gentle.

  3. Maree

    Hi, Karen,
    I have read and reread your story, so much of it could be mine! My son suicided six years ago, and I can’t say it gets easier with time passing. We just get conditioned to living with the aching loss.RE writing a book, have you read “My, Son, my son, a guide…suicide” by Iris Bolton, written 11 years after her son’s suicide.She, too, needed to do it. Good luck with yours.

  4. I’m sorry to hear about your son, Maree. Being in my first year without my own son, I can’t comment on the passing of time. I can say that, for me, after eight months it’s getting worse instead of better. I thought it would be … different.

    Yes, I have read parts of “My Son, My Son”. I’m only just re-borrowing these books from the library now, as I feel I’ll benefit from them again. Besides, the first time I only read parts of the book, because of shock and lack of concentration.

    Thank you for the “good luck”.

  5. I’ve spent over an hour reading through your Blog and crying for your, mine, and everyone’s grief over a suicide loss. At times I’ve felt a little like I’m intruding because my loss was a partner not a child. Still, suicide is the toughest type of loss for all of us left behind.

    I’m a writer too and I work in the Australian writing industry. Your story, Barry’s story, needs to be told. I may be able to help you out with this, please email me if you’d like to discuss it.

    Best Wishes,
    Zathyn Priest

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