I never thought the approach of Christmas would be this difficult. Hard and sad, yes, but this degree of pain cannot be imagined.

With each day that passes, I grow worse. The nightmares grip me, migraines remind me how congested my head is, mood swings are scaring the bravest of people away and the tears…it’s almost like I’ve gone back to the beginning of my grief. I can’t stop the tears.

The people in my support group, who have walked this path before me, knew the “younger” members would need help. They started providing that help at the beginning of the month, and before. I read their words and thought, “I’ll be OK.” But it has become clear that I’m not going to be OK. It’s only the 8th day of December, I dread to think what I’ll be like on the 25th.

One member of the group sent out a group prayer for all the children lost to suicide, but this prayer could easily be for anyone who has passed away. I wish to share it with you in the hope that a group prayer might become a world prayer. Maybe our loved ones will hear our words if we have enough people saying them.

A quiet moment for lighting a candle in memory of your child…

“Dear child of mine, please see this light as a symbol of our never-ending love for you. Please understand that this love knows no limits or bounds; it conquers even the hold of death. Let this light shine in memory of our love for you, in celebration of the life we shared together, however brief, and in the hope that tomorrow will be a brighter day. We feel your spirit with us even now, gently guiding and strengthening us. With this light we will remember the true gifts of the season: memories of joys past, hope for present peace and love to last a lifetime. We will forever feel your presence and love you always.”