As a person in the first mile of grief, I know the words to this poem are true. It might seem that a newly bereaved person in focused inward, that’s because they are. The grief is so overpowering they don’t know how to listen to “ordinary” things. Nothing is ordinary for them any longer. They need to talk about the one person on their mind – day and night – the person they loved and lost. They need a friend who will listen to them…over and over again. Yes, they will say the same things repeatedly, but that is part of the healing. Suppressing the words will lengthen the grieving time. Eventually, the topic will change, but please don’t rush a grieving person back to normality, because life will never be normal for that person again.
Those of us who have traveled a while
Along this path called grief,
Need to stop and remember that mile,
The first mile of no relief.
It wasn’t the person with answers
Who told us the way to deal,
It wasn’t the one who talked and talked
That helped us to start to heal.
Think of the friend who quietly sat
and held our hands in theirs,
The ones who let us talk and talk
and hugged away our tears.
We need to always remember
That more than the words we speak,
It’s the gift of someone who listens
That most of us desperately seek.