I haven’t spoken about my feelings and grief lately. This doesn’t mean that everything is fine, because it’s not. In fact, life has turned upside down and I find that on this occasion I can’t write about it effectively because I’m unable to relate all the events (due to privacy of those concerned).
However, this blog is about how the death of my son has affected me. And the events I am carefully avoiding mentioning have come about due to the death of that son. It’s called the domino effect and for the last week or so I’ve had a strong sense of déjà vu.
I live a life of fear. This isn’t good for a person and I feel that if it doesn’t stop soon, it will put me in an early grave. The stress is enormous, but I feel that stress is also avoidable. I just can’t get this across to the person concerned.
What can I say? I’ve walked this path before, but this time I’m aware of the dangers and I still can do nothing about it.