This week I’ve had my first experience with sleeping tablets. I’m not impressed.

The doctor told me to take half a tablet or a full tablet. The decision was mine. On the first night I decided to jump right in and take a full tablet. I managed to get about six hours sleep. However, after taking the tablet I “blacked out”. I don’t know how else to describe it. I was sitting in the lounge room one minute and the next minute it was just before dawn. I had no memory of going to bed. Spooky.

The next night I decide to be a bit more cautious and took half a tablet. What a waste of time that was. I was awake at 3am after four hours of sleep, but I had no strange experience prior to going to bed.

Last night, I took a full tablet again. Within ten minutes, Gary left the room but I can’t recall him returning a minute later. I have no recollection of walking around, talking to my son, getting undressed or going to bed. Nothing. Not the vaguest memory. This is unsettling. Anything could have happened in that time and I wouldn’t be aware of it. I don’t like that thought. And…I woke up at 2am in a lather of sweat and didn’t full asleep again.

Apparently, Daniel thought my behaviour was amusing last night, but Gary didn’t like seeing me like that and was upset. He said I was acting really, really weird and he didn’t like it. As I said, I can’t remember any of it.

Sleeping tablets can be addictive. I only ever intended to use them short term (a week or two at the longest), but why take the risk of addiction to something that doesn’t even work and has scary side affects? I won’t be taking any more of those tablets. They obviously don’t agree with me.

I wonder how much sleep I’ll get tonight?