Building the Options

Yesterday, I reported that my surviving son felt suicidal. Today, I wish to talk about this a little more with a much calmer heart than I had yesterday, although the fear is still strong.

When faced with a crises such as I was yesterday, it’s difficult to put all the options over to the person who needs them…and fast. Emotions are running high. Fear freezes the brain. However, it is important to offer a few to get started with, anything that will offer the person some hope to go on with and to get them over the initial slump. Then, with the dawn of a new morning after, hopefully, a good nights sleep (or even no sleep, as is the case with me) more options become visible. This is what happened with me this morning. More options, good options, became clear. This made me feel a lot better about the situation at hand. It gave me hope, so I know it will do similar for my son.

When trying to build the options, don’t be selfish. Don’t think about what you want for them and/or yourself. Only consider what is best for your child. Remember, you are trying to keep them alive. Isn’t that the most important thing in your life right now?

Talk to other family members. Talk to doctors and other professionals in the medical field. Talk to employers, teachers and friends to ensure you know the whole story. Then tackle each problem and see if you can offer a solution. Take as many worries as you can away from the person who is finding it difficult to cope. Offer to go with them to sort things out, or to visit a counsellor. Do whatever it takes to minimise the stress and frustration in their lives.

It will take time and effort, and probably money, but it’s worth it.

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