Yesterday, my family went out for the first family lunch since Barry’s passing. We celebrated my mother’s birthday, and we would have been celebrating Barry’s birthday at the same time (even though his birthday was early last week). To make things a little harder, we went to the last place most of the family, except Daniel (but including me), had last seen Barry alive.
Daniel found the luncheon hard to bear. He got upset when we were shown to a table and we all sat down. Eventually, he left the building for a short time to collect his thoughts and clear his head.
Meanwhile, I looked around the restaurant and I could plainly see Barry moving around. I wasn’t seeing Barry in real time; I was seeing Barry as he was on that last day I saw him in the restaurant. The mental picture of him walking towards me with a plate of food (it’s an all-you-can-eat restaurant) was so clear, the image of him sitting in the chair beside me so vivid and real. Fortunately, I found my imagination a comfort. I felt strangely calm and peaceful. I wish Daniel could have felt the same.
It’s weird how some days are harder for one person than another. It’s strange that something small will affect all of us in a different way. However, it’s lucky that we don’t all fall apart at the same things because then there would be no one to carry us over the hurdle.
We had a good lunch, in good company, but naturally we did miss Barry. That goes without saying.