Contacts for the USA

A good information site for suicidal people, survivors and families is the American Association of Suicidology. They do not provide direct services, but they do provide emergency phone numbers.

A useful bullying-related site is: Bullies to Buddies

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2 thoughts on “Contacts for the USA

  1. How can I help my husband. His mother had commited sucide on May 21,2007. She was 55yrs old. He had found her. He it having a tough time dealing with this. She had gave a list of instructions to do. Even how to bury her and to put the dog down. She suffered a deep depression for awhile. Now he is going through a depression. I tried for him to get couseling.He won’t go.What kind of books should I get or website for him.

    Thank You

  2. First off, I want to say how sorry I am that you are going through this. Suicide affects the whole family and it’s not something that can be “got over” quickly, if at all.

    You and your husband are in the same position as me and my son. I know how hard it is to watch someone you love suffer as I’ve been watching my son for over a year now. I also know the fear that is consuming you right now too. Please know that the fear will totally consume you if you allow it to. You must do what you can do to help your husband, but you have to look after yourself too. This is very important, otherwise you will join your husband in despair and that would not be good for anyone.

    Unfortunately, you can’t make your husband see a councillor (and I haven’t been able to talk my son into this either). But you can do other things. The most important thing is to get him to talk about his feelings about his mother’s death to you. It won’t be easy for you, but you have to allow him to say anything and everything that is on his mind. Let him repeat himself as often as he needs too. Don’t react, just listen and comfort. Don’t judge, just be there for him.

    In every day life mention things his mother said or did too – in other words, remember the happy times. Yes, he will get upset, but in a strange way hearing the loved one’s name is comforting too. Don’t be afraid to say these things. The more you do it (but make sure it’s in natural conversation, don’t deliberately steer the conversation so that you can talk about his mother), the easier it gets…to say the name and to hear it. He may not respond in any way for a while, but then you’ll notice that he’ll share a good memory too or he’ll smile. Believe me, the first time that happens, it will lighten your heart.

    The book that first helped me the most was When Bad Things Happen To Good People. It helped me realise that I wasn’t being punished for past mistakes and that I didn’t deserve what had happened to me. I’m not a religious person, but I found a lot of comfort in this book and I’d recommend it to anyone who is suffering a loss of a loved one and feels guilt because of it.

    Give it time and the shock and despair will start to subside. In the meantime, remind your husband what he has to live for. Show him that you love him. If you have children and grandchild, spend time with them. If not, encourage the things that have always delighted him, eg fishing, painting, reading, sight seeing, photography.

    Take care of yourself and have strength.

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