An excerpt from the book, “After Suicide: Help for the Bereaved” by Dr Sheila Clark
Allow yourself a fifteen to twenty minute grief period every day. Make sure you can be alone and have put on the answering machine so you won’t be disturbed. This time acts as a safety valve. In it you can deal with any emotions that you have stored up.
You may wish to use different ways of grieving at these times: thinking, crying, praying, meditating, writing or drawing.
You may like to keep a diary. Write down your feelings, your grief and the memories of your loved one. You will then notice how your grief changes over a period of weeks and months. This will be proof to you of your progress. Keep the diary in a safe place; the memories you have written down about your loved one will be precious for you in the future.
Alternatively, you may feel more comfortable with pictures or diagrams.
Many people find crying a relief. Rather than being an indication of weakness, tears are often a sign of strength and show that you are prepared to work through your grief. Some people find it difficult to cry, and yearn for tears to release their grief.
The process can seem long and lonely, so find someone whom you can confide in, for example, a relative or friend.
If you have difficulty finding someone suitable, your doctor or local community health centre may be able to help in this way, or refer you on to a specialist grief counsellor. Some people find the experience of someone else who has been through a similar situation invaluable.