When grieving, it helps to know that you are not alone in what you are feeling. I am finding that I want to read about other parents who have lost a child in the same way I have. It’s sad, but it does help, because it makes me see that I’m not going insane and that there will be relief from the pain eventually.
There are online brochures, with titles such as “When A Brother or Sister Dies”, “Surviving Your Child’s Suicide”, “Understanding Grief When a Grandchild Dies”, and more. I hope you find them helpful.