I’ve added Barry’s photo to the sidebar. It’s the same photo that was placed on his coffin on the day of his funeral on Tuesday 30 May 2006.

I look at Barry’s photo and cry. It’s still too difficult to gaze upon his gorgeous face and not get emotional. He’s my baby, even at age 18, and that will never change. I know that one day, I’ll find comfort in all the photos I have, but not now. For me, right now, photos are torture, but I need them all around me. I need him all around me.

My mind is tormented by the fact that I can’t see Barry’s face clearly in my mind. I’m told that I’m still in a state of shock, and that there will come a day when his image will come easily. My body is trying to protect me, yet it’s this thing that tortures me the most.