Barry had an “out there” personality. He didn’t care what people thought or if they laughed at him. In fact, he deliberately did things to make them laugh at him. He had an out going personality and loved to laugh and, I guess, that’s why he had so many friends.

Despite the fact that everyone who knew him, loved him, Barry’s girlfriend’s parents disliked him (well, the father did). Barry overheard the father running him down. When he told me what he heard I understood why he was upset. The fact that the claims were unwarranted and untrue didn’t make a difference. As far as I was concerned it was a case of no boy was good enough for his daughter and although I tried to explain this to Barry and told him not to take it personally, he did. The parents were in their daughter’s ear constantly and this caused problems between her and Barry, which I believe was their intent. Those problems led to Barry’s suicide.

Daniel has a different personality to Barry. Daniel is more of a loner, although he doesn’t like being alone. I know that doesn’t make sense, but if you think about it you’ll see what I mean. Daniel likes being around other people, but he’s more comfortable being in the background. He’s quieter and more serious, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how to have fun and be stupid. Everyone knows how to be those things, but it depends on the company they are in, whereas, with Barry, the company didn’t matter.

Daniel has a girlfriend whose parents don’t like him. There’s no reason for it. He’s never been rude to them. He’s never done anything wrong. They don’t like him because he’s going out with their daughter. They’ve been in their daughter’s ear, but Daniel, although stressed, has accepted the situation when most people wouldn’t. However, now the parents have taken it one step further and have given their daughter an ultimatum – him or us; if you chose him, you have to move out.

If I were their daughter, I’d tell them where to go and move out. And then I’d have nothing to do with them again. Who needs people like that in their life? But I’m not their daughter – thank heavens. Their daughter has 24 hours to decide. Will this latest plan of her parents work? Maybe…maybe not.

Now, forget them, and turn your mind to me. Imagine how I feel about this. Can you see a pattern emerging? I can. Can you blame me for worrying? Can you understand why I can’t let go of that fear I’ve carried for 18 months?

These people are playing games and people are getting hurt because of it. These people know what happened in our family, yet has that stopped them? No. When Barry died I was very forgiving. If anything happens to Daniel because of these mindless games, I won’t let it rest and I certainly won’t forgive. There will be Hell to play. I promise that. I already have no tolerance for stupidity and I don’t need much of an excuse to get angry.

I’m not saying that she has to stay with him now and forever; for fear that he might do something terrible, because that wouldn’t be fair on her. That would be totally wrong. If they break up for normal reasons, then that is something that just happens. No one would be to blame and we would ride it through. My problem with this situation is the interference and stupidity of the mind games.

I don’t know what decision Daniel’s girlfriend will make. All I know is that if she choses her parents over Daniel, it will destroy him, because he doesn’t deserve to be treated like this. My midnight vigils will start again because I will have to watch him carefully. I don’t want to lose another son over something that could easily be avoided.

I’m feeling a lot of anger…and fear…right now. Why do people think they have a right to control and dominate? What I want to say, and I’m going to say it, is that playing these games with people is dangerous. Ultimatums can lead to confusion. Confusion can lead to depression. Depression can lead to death.

My concern and priority is for Daniel, but surely I’m not the only one who can see what might happen here. These two young people are being pushed to the limit. I worry about the effect it will have on my son, but there’s another person who could easily be pushed over the edge – the girlfriend. Is it really worth the risk?